for this task we had to draw a item and describe it and then plan a paragraph and then write it as a draft. here is my paragraph about the Ballpoint pen
Hi Nova its Michaela form Yaldhurst Model School "For this task" did you have write with a Ballpoint pen. I have a ballpoint pen at home. From there I like the post. Kind regards Michaela
Hello Nova, I am Alan from Yaldhurst model school. Your blog post is really good. What I liked most about this blog is you wrote What the task is. Most bloggers forget that part.
You can make this blog better by writing some interesting things about the ballpoint pen. And also can you make the first part of your blog post smaller. It is bigger than the title. Any way other than that your blog post is awesome. Kind regards ALan
Hi Nova! My name is Mia from Yaldhurst Model School. Awesome work! I liked your description on the ballpoint pen, it was interesting to read and it was nice and short.
I have lots of ballpoint pens at home, a lot of them have ran out though, so I can't really use them. Sometimes I think that I maybe you could replace the ink, have you done that before?
To improve, maybe you could change the 'clicky thing' to a button or a piston or something along those lines.
Hi there Nova! My name is Hana and I'm a year 6 from Yaldhurst Model School!
Wow Nova! The explanation was really clear! It's quite interesting about how a ballpoint pen works.
I don't own any ballpoint pens. At least, I don't think! Although my grandma might have some! She tends to have things like that laying around in her house. When I get home, I could probably walk across the stepping stones and ask!
Next time, perhaps make the DLO more interesting. Perhaps more colorful, or multiple slides, or something like that. And like Mia said, perhaps change 'clicky thing' to something more accurate. Apart from those little mistakes, great work Nova!
Hi Nova its Michaela form Yaldhurst Model School
ReplyDelete"For this task" did you have write with a Ballpoint pen.
I have a ballpoint pen at home.
From there I like the post.
Kind regards
Michaela
Hello Nova,
ReplyDeleteI am Alan from Yaldhurst model school. Your blog post is really good. What I liked most about this blog is you wrote What the task is. Most bloggers forget that part.
You can make this blog better by writing some interesting things about the ballpoint pen. And also can you make the first part of your blog post smaller. It is bigger than the title. Any way other than that your blog post is awesome.
Kind regards
ALan
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHi Nova! My name is Mia from Yaldhurst Model School. Awesome work! I liked your description on the ballpoint pen, it was interesting to read and it was nice and short.
ReplyDeleteI have lots of ballpoint pens at home, a lot of them have ran out though, so I can't really use them. Sometimes I think that I maybe you could replace the ink, have you done that before?
To improve, maybe you could change the 'clicky thing' to a button or a piston or something along those lines.
Great work!
Mia
Hi there Nova! My name is Hana and I'm a year 6 from Yaldhurst Model School!
ReplyDeleteWow Nova! The explanation was really clear! It's quite interesting about how a ballpoint pen works.
I don't own any ballpoint pens. At least, I don't think! Although my grandma might have some! She tends to have things like that laying around in her house. When I get home, I could probably walk across the stepping stones and ask!
Next time, perhaps make the DLO more interesting. Perhaps more colorful, or multiple slides, or something like that. And like Mia said, perhaps change 'clicky thing' to something more accurate. Apart from those little mistakes, great work Nova!
(Pretty name, by the way!)
From Hana