My Story
In an old abandoned Museum you can hear old creaking sounds as you walk. Suddenly a high pitched sound comes from under the old boxes and your friend has just Vanished!! You also hear a shuddering laugh… You go a little further into the Museum and a splat of blood is on the floor, There is a whole :trail of splattered blood! You suddenly start to follow it! At the end of the trail there is a dead person! You immediately freak out it is so scary!
Self Assessment
Things I think I have done well:
I have used descriptive language
My story made sense
Things I need to work on
Using more punctuation
Pair asment
Work on’s Things you need to work on you need to work on not youing double words like you immediately freak out and then you said it again.
Thing that you have done well I like how you done and you'd some descriptive words
Hello There Nova, It's Caitlyn K here from T3. I like how you have used interesting words such as abandon, shuddering. It's always good to add interesting words to your story to make the story more interesting for people to read. Maybe next time use a bit more punctuation towards your story. Keep up the great work! From Caitlyn K Totara 3.
ReplyDeleteKia Ora Nova Abbie here from mamaku 2!
ReplyDeleteyou have written an amazing SPOOKAY story!!!
As I read it it sent shivers down my spine!!!
Have you ever thought about becoming a horror novel writer?
Next time you could try and add an ending like who it was or do you vanish?
kia pai great story!
Good bye,
from Abbie.